What is internal motivation?
As a parent, you may be wondering what internal motivation is even though you know the answer, but you’re not aware of that. Internal motivation I when the desire and drive for something comes from within, naturally. Even if there is no reward or recognition for the “achievement” or “success” of the purpose, the personal desire to do one’s best is still there, unaffected of anything.
Living in a world where the things like to be successful and recognized, are important to people, but very few people want to make an effort and work harder in order to be successful, it is quite a challenge to raise a child who is focused on other things than recognition and success by the world. You will have to have a powerful mindset in order to raise a child who will be focused on work. Yes, as parents, we all want our children to be successful, smart, confident, but how do they become confident?
Confidence in a child comes when the child feels secure that knows something. Truly confident children have worked hard to achieve the thing that they are confident in – whether it is academic success, musical ability, or even confidence in a friendship.
How do you develop internal motivation in children?
1. You love them unconditionally
Children who feel secure and loved in their primary relationship (their family) don’t feel the need to achieve or to be good at something in order to be loved by someone. Everything that they do, they do it because of their empowered and whole self.
2. Create opportunities for children to feel successful
Present your child a practical live activity – any activity that will make your child develop a skill and feel a sense of accomplishment at the same time. And practical life activities tend to be an area where all children can succeed with a bit of focus and determination in just a few attempts. Start out with basic skills and then encourage children to try something different.
3. Make the work fun
Even if the work is not fun, you as a parent should always find a way and approach the work with a fun attitude. In order for your child to accomplish it you have to add a fun element to the work, of course if it’s possible. For example, if you are learning how to count, find an interesting and fun way to do it, instead of promising a reward in order to motivate the child.
4. Encourage children to be reflective of their work
You can encourage your children by asking them about their work. After you ask, you should also listen to them and encourage them to find solutions to any problem or situation they have. Encourage them with questions like: How did you feel about your work?, Can you tell me about your work? Was it hard for you to do it? What was your favourite part?, etc…You can also help children to be self reflective if you use some neutral comments like “Wow, you worked really hard at this!”
5. Reward appropriately
Of course that you should reward your children for being successful, but that doesn’t mean you should give them rewards for nothing or very often. You should give them rewards when warranted and leave them enjoy what they have earned. Be judicious and selective when giving out rewards, and try to pick rewards that are proportional to the achievement. Try not to let the award overshadow the amazing work that your child has done. And of course you should not promise a reward to your child as a motivation because it will reflect negatively. Your child won’t be motivated to do the job, but to get the reward.
6. Give your child a responsibility
Whether it is some exercise, some extra homework, or some activity, your child will be more motivated if he/she has a responsibility. If you raise your child without asking anything, how can you expect from it to be motivated? But if you give a responsibility, the effect will be positive, of course.
7. Be an example
If you want to raise internally motivated child, it’s important to be a good example. You can not expect from your children to do something that not even you want to do it. Don’t expect them to be something that you are not willing to be.